“Certified Parking Lot Therapist”
Is your car making a noise it definitely didn’t make yesterday?
Perfect. You’ve come to the least qualified experts available.
This shirt features our logo and the legendary “Talk to us about your car problems” hotline sticker - complete with a totally real, absolutely useless phone number - making you the most approachable bad influence in any parking lot.
Ideal for:
-
Strangers pointing at your chest before explaining their misfire
-
Giving confident advice that starts with “Have you tried…”
-
Nodding wisely while having no idea what engine they’re talking about
Side effects may include:
-
Being promoted to “that guy who knows cars” against your will
-
Long conversations you tried to escape by leaving car meets early
-
A strange sense of pride when someone says, “You get it.”
You’re not a mechanic.
You’re emotional support with torque specs.
Wear the shirt. Hear the problems. Join the Cult.
More details
- 100% ring-spun cotton
- Midweight fabric (6.1 oz)
- Garment-dyed, pre-shrunk fabric
- Yarn diameter: 20 singles
- Relaxed fit
- Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability
- Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
- Single-needle left chest pocket with double-needle hem
- 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
- Signature twill label that matches the color of the garment
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Secret Touge Cult
- Email: contact@support.secret-touge-cult.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the EU REACH requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
“Certified Parking Lot Therapist” Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
|
S
|
26 1/2
|
18.25
|
|
M
|
28
|
20.25
|
|
L
|
29.25
|
22
|
|
XL
|
30.75
|
24
|
|
2XL
|
31 1/2
|
26
|